Buried deep in a little used storeroom almost lost amongst the splendorous libraries of Candle Keep were found several well worn boards that were bound together along with a parchment and, most unusual of all, traces or orangutan hair. The parchment said quite simply:

"Floorboards -- Berdusk -- Twilight Hall -- cell."

When examined carefully, the boards appear very like old floorboards that one might find in an inn or public house. On what appears to be once the underside of the boards, with patient study, one can make out the writing that follows.

Mid-Eliasais, 1372

Alone. Cold. Cold and alone and cut off. I'm alone now after failing miserably at the most important thing I've ever set out to do. I'm sorry I failed you. Failed everyone. Failed Her. While it seems unlikely that anyone will ever read this, I feel compelled to write. Maybe they are right and it is just another obsessive compulsion, one of many in the madness that they all see in me.

There is light from somewhere. Light enough to be able to find a loose floorboard. No esacpe there, massive stones just below. A tiny chip of rock is my quill. A pathetic end for an Archmage. There must be a spell, something with dust and old wood and a bit of toenail as components that I could . . .

It's little use. I think they are putting something into the air. An incense or something that creeps under the door and into my brain. Worlds spin. I hear crying. It's my fault. I'm throwing fish into a sea of cold black blood.

If I don't try to touch the weave my head seems to clear just a bit. I'm hungry all the time though. Hunger feels just like I remember when growing up. I was always hungry then too. If I'm very careful, I can remember why I'm here. I don't know if it will last though, so I need to write it down. I've found a loose floorboard and a tiny chip of stone. I need to write it . . .

Mystra. She asked me to give everything and I said yes. I must kill Shar. No. That's not right. I have to tell the others that I need to kill Shar. Lord Shadow will kill me then he will kill Shar. Mystral's will. My blood. Karsus's blood. Not Larissa's. NO!

My blood, Borem's heart and the dagger that killed him. Those are the key components. I'll create a shadow of Karsus's Avatar and kill Shar. Make the cities crash. I tried to explain all this to my friends but they are afraid of me now. They hate what I've become. I scare them because I've fallen. It's scary to fall all alone into the darkness. It's better this way. I don't want to hurt them. I never did. I hope someday . . .

I told them. They know how to link all the new enclaves to Shadowhold. Shadowhold. Hold the Shadow. Grab ahold and fade away into darkness. All back to the plane of shadow from whence they came. Go to Shadow, change the patterns and grab ahold. Fade. Just like that. They'd all be gone. Then snuff out the the light. Sunslayer's what's needed for that. Spelljammer's the way. Ask the elves for a map. They know the way but they might not want to help. I killed all the fish on their boat and threw them into the sea. Waves of cold, cold blood.

Larissa's gone to Alustriel. Xan took the hint. I told him that no one loved her enough or was strong enough to protect her. I said that maybe Alustriel could but why would she? Xan made it happen. Bless him. He stole my sister from me, just as he needed to. I had to be angry though. Had to tell them the rest of the plan before it was too late. Had to hurry.

Can they work the Vondoni Stone? I told them about that right? Vondoni Stone, Master Wand's apparatus, heavy magic. Position next to the mythal. Crash! They think I forgot Primula. Damn that drow. They trust her, not me. She's here to keep Primula captive. Use the Vondoni Stone; don't trust the drow. I pray I told them. Who do I pray to now? The Goddess I've left behind or the one I must kill? I tried to tell them before they did something stupid.

I snuck them all into the magnificent mansion to tell them my plan but she was waiting when we came out. The Witch Queen was there. I wanted to run and hide. Her voice said no. Surrender She said so he could cast the spell. It saved the others though. she would have killed everyone to take me. They think I'm crazy. The Symbul knows what crazy really is.

They say I'm to be tried in front of Harpers for terrible things. I've done terrible things. Things that haunt my dreams. I no longer have dreams, just nightmares. It's cold and I'm alone and there is blood everywhere. Blood and darkness and cold and crying.

I have to keep trying. Tryingcryingtryingcrying, bathed in blood and fading away. I need to summon more anger. It's hard to be angry when there is so much love. They are going to come for me and I have to be ready. Fight them. Anger! Anger! Anger! I l . . .